1. Shave your head.
This may sound extreme...and it is...but you can't fight with hair that doesn't exist right? Think of all the time you'll save each day. Get ready for ultimate liberation from your untamed mane. You'll have all the time in the world to do whatever you want. Listen to Sinead O'Connor CD's. Pretend you're Sigourney Weaver from the movie Alien...heck...pretend you ARE an alien. The possibilities are endless.
2. If shaving your head isn't an option, let me introduce you to the next best thing. Can you say "Paper Bag?"
This is one of my favorites. Not only will the bag hide your hideous hair, but you'll get the added benefit of hiding the embarrassment on your face. You + Paper Bag = Complete freedom from the public eye.
Incidentally, you can also get away with things like robbing banks and streaking with this classic solution.
3. E'ry t'ing gonna be irey mon (Jamaican for "everything is going to be alright man").
You can always go with "The Monica." Take your hair to the next level by jamming your unruly locks into a few hundred multi-colored beads, or seashells. You'll have your hair under wraps, and you'll be your own percussion soundtrack as you walk down the street. Get the hair that announces your arrival from a distance. People will be saying: "I think I hear someone who knows how to control their hair coming!"
Special bonus: If you're Catholic, your beaded hair may be able to double as rosary. Check with your priest to confirm.
4. Learn to play an instrument.
Next time someone looks at your hair as if to say.."Hmm...Has she been attacked?," just nonchalantly display your musical instrument, and begin to play a tune. At this point they'll say..."OOOOH...She's a musician...Cool!"
The more difficult your instrument is to play the better. A violin, or small keyboard is great, but a tambourine doesn't quite sell the whole musician thing. If you stoop as low as a maraca, they'll just think your looking for a drum circle, and your cool factor will take a serious nose dive.
5. Are you still reading this? My goodness! You must be really desperate. If you haven't figured it out by now, I have absolutely NO idea what to do about your crazy hair other than the one (real) solution I've found.
Obviously I'm talking about Bolder Bands. I'm always telling people how they stay put while you work out, and soak up sweat, etc. However, they also work great when you wake up looking like Gary Busey's mug shot (I'll spare you the picture on that one).
Bolder Bands come in so many different patterns, colors, and textures that you're bound to find something that will get your hair under control and get you out of the house without your trusty paper bag.
Have a great day! (even if it's a bad hair day)
Bolder Band Headbands
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